Archive for April, 2009

My 10 favourite biscuits

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

1. Chocolate HobNobs
The original and best! HobNobs are good, but even better when garnished with chocolate…
Chocolate HobNobs

2. Malted Milk
AKA “Cow biscuits” taste and sound like something you would give to a toddler, but – by God they’re good!
Malted Milk

3. Chocolate Digestives
Same goes as HobNobs – better when chocolate!
Chocolate Digestives

4. Shortbread
One of the only good things to come out of Scotland! Buttery and probably one of the unhealthiest biscuits around!
Shortbread

5. Custard Creams
Pull them apart, lick off the cream and enjoy the 2 remaining pieces, allbeit one of them soggy!
Custard Creams

6. Nice
The name says it all. Light in taste and therefore easy to consume lots…
Nice

7. Rich Tea
The perfect dunking biscuit, they are less tasteless than cardboard until dunked.
Rich Tea

8. Chocolate Bourbons
The biscuit I used to eat as a child, so this is a particularly nostalgic biscuit for me.
Chocolate Bourbons

9. Jamie Dodgers
Everyone loves a bit of the dodge! Another biscuit that you are forced to dissect to enjoy.
Jamie Dodgers

10. Hovis Biscuits
The biscuit that I always make a beeline for when I am faced with a box of biscuits for cheese!
Hovis Biscuits

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The 10 types of Plymouth girl

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

I have managed to categorise all the women in Plymouth and assessed their suitability as a girlfriend:

1. Fit but taken
Those ultra-desirable girls that you see in the pub that you know you don’t have a chance with.
Denise Richards

2. The liars and cheats
The most common girls in Plymouth. They use you (and not in a good way!) and then lie and cheat to get rid of you.
Liars

3. Slags
Another common type. They are the ones that get their tits out at every given occasion and like a bike, everyone has had a ride! These are also the most likely to wear Playboy stuff – how chavvy!
Slag

4. Friends
You can’t date friends or housemates because of the awkwardness and the chance of losing someone really close.
Friends

5. Lesbians
Good to watch, but no good for dating. Bisexuals are better, but not by a large enough margin.
Lesbians

6. Foreigners
You can never understand them and chances are that they too exotic for the standard Plymouth man.
American Pie - Nadia

7. Too young / too old
A huge portion of the females. The young ‘uns are usually chavettes and the old ones are ugly.
Chavette

8. Off limits
Mates ex-girlfriends, social no-nos and friends sisters. All will get you into hot water!
Love Triangle

9. The plain ugly
Hmmm..
Ugly Betty

10. The perfect one
There is only 1 of these, and she may not even live in Plymouth, but I know she exists, so I shall keep looking…
Mystery Girl

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